when we fought in the second grade because you said my nail polish was ugly. when you asked me to give you singing lessons under the stairs during recess. when we became convinced we were long-lost cousins and tried to get our families to tell us we looked alike. when you burned me that mix cd which was mostly james taylor and joe cocker and apologized for not being hip and I listened to it until it wore out. when we bought that book about not using shampoo and tried it together and my hair looked disgusting after two weeks and yours looked amazing and you told me I was beautiful. when we worked at jaipur and then billie frogs and had crushes on all the older dudes who wanted nothing to do with us. when we snuck into that dive bar and sang karaoke for the first time. when I was going through my first breakup and couldn’t be alone so I drove to your house and we took terrible photos of ourselves and I asked you to scratch my back and you did it even though you didn’t want to. when I was sobbing for hours because I couldn’t get over it and you listened as I repeated every detail and then at just the right moment climbed onto my lap looked me square in the eye and said ‘enough’ and drove us to alvarados to eat burritos and laugh. when I met someone new and we talked in the parking lot of our elementary school and you said you thought I should give him a chance and because you said I should I did. when we sat on the balcony until the morning birds chirped and laughed at the bugs that rapidly multiplied in the little forest behind your too-expensive apartment. when you asked me to paint a mural in your room and I painted two trees and said they were us. when michael jackson died and you called me at work fifteen times and we laughed so hard at how my reaction scared the shit out of that customer. when all the other relationships fell apart or were a disappointment and it was okay because friends. when we laughed. when we laughed and when we laughed and when we laughed. when we cried and when we held each other’s hair and when we saw each other’s complete and total worst and when we somehow always made it feel like courage and also when we laughed.